(Disclaimer: These are the thoughts of a lady on a lot of pain medication!)
Once there was a little girl who loved all animals, especially dogs. You see, she had two herself and could not get enough of them.
One day her mother came home rather annoyed, after trying to pull into the driveway on her way home from work, only to find that her 7 year old daughter already had the space occupied.
A smile broke across her mother's face as she asked the girl, "What in the world are you doing?!?"
The girl, a bit confused replied, "What does it look like I am doing?? I am throwing the dogs a birthday party!"
Yes, I was that little girl. I remember it being a warm summer afternoon. I was hot just walking around in my swimsuit and bare feet and decided surely the next door neighbor's golden retriever was hot laying out in the heat with her thick coat of long hair. I suddenly had an idea! I was going to throw the dogs a pool party! I dragged out and brushed off my trusty green, plastic Mr. Turtle Pool and placed it smack dab in the middle of the driveway. I then filled it with hose water and put piles of dry dog food all around the pool. I went and got my two favorite dogs in the world from the backyard to join in on the fun. Turns out I was right, because it didn't take long for Shasta (the neighbor's dog) to make her way directly into my green wading pool. It was like I had a giant handful of hot greasey bacon in my hands, or something, because suddenly random dogs just started showing up out of the woodwork. I'm not kidding, a dog here, a dog there. Until, there I was with 5 or 6 dogs eating their carefully placed piles of dog food, and one dog swimming in the middle of it all. That was when my mom showed up.
My mom quickly made it clear that these other dogs were not to stay... and to clean up my mess when I was finished. But she let me be, as she walked away shaking her head. I then joined Shasta in the pool as we (okay, I) sang happy birthday and celebrated the birth of all these glorious dogs!
One day her mother came home rather annoyed, after trying to pull into the driveway on her way home from work, only to find that her 7 year old daughter already had the space occupied.
A smile broke across her mother's face as she asked the girl, "What in the world are you doing?!?"
The girl, a bit confused replied, "What does it look like I am doing?? I am throwing the dogs a birthday party!"
Yes, I was that little girl. I remember it being a warm summer afternoon. I was hot just walking around in my swimsuit and bare feet and decided surely the next door neighbor's golden retriever was hot laying out in the heat with her thick coat of long hair. I suddenly had an idea! I was going to throw the dogs a pool party! I dragged out and brushed off my trusty green, plastic Mr. Turtle Pool and placed it smack dab in the middle of the driveway. I then filled it with hose water and put piles of dry dog food all around the pool. I went and got my two favorite dogs in the world from the backyard to join in on the fun. Turns out I was right, because it didn't take long for Shasta (the neighbor's dog) to make her way directly into my green wading pool. It was like I had a giant handful of hot greasey bacon in my hands, or something, because suddenly random dogs just started showing up out of the woodwork. I'm not kidding, a dog here, a dog there. Until, there I was with 5 or 6 dogs eating their carefully placed piles of dog food, and one dog swimming in the middle of it all. That was when my mom showed up.
My mom quickly made it clear that these other dogs were not to stay... and to clean up my mess when I was finished. But she let me be, as she walked away shaking her head. I then joined Shasta in the pool as we (okay, I) sang happy birthday and celebrated the birth of all these glorious dogs!
It was shortly after this incident that I started being referred to as the 'Dog Lady' around the house and neighborhood.
I simply loved dogs. When I grew up I wanted to have 150 dogs as pets and have someone pay me for it. It sounded like a great job to me!
Now, when I see dogs at the park... and I see their owner stopping to pick up their poop behind them... I want to vomit. Now, when I see dog hair all over some one's clothes or house... I think it is so NOT worth having a dog to have to clean up all that mess! Now, when friendly neighbor dogs jump up on me to give me a big kiss on my face... I am totally grossed out. Now, when I pet a dog... I can't think of anything until I wash my hands afterwards.
What happened to me? Where did the Dog Lady go? When did I become so cold hearted and non-animal friendly? I hate it! Sometimes I try to pretend that I still do love dogs (and sometimes I almost believe it myself) and then I see that a friend's dog vomited on their floor, or chewed up their shoes, or peed on their rug, or scratched up all their doors and tore up the couch, or that they have worms in their poop! And then I just can't think anything else but... "Why?!??". Sadly, my kids will probably never know the love of a dog.
Seriously though, what happened to that Dog Lady???
I simply loved dogs. When I grew up I wanted to have 150 dogs as pets and have someone pay me for it. It sounded like a great job to me!
Now, when I see dogs at the park... and I see their owner stopping to pick up their poop behind them... I want to vomit. Now, when I see dog hair all over some one's clothes or house... I think it is so NOT worth having a dog to have to clean up all that mess! Now, when friendly neighbor dogs jump up on me to give me a big kiss on my face... I am totally grossed out. Now, when I pet a dog... I can't think of anything until I wash my hands afterwards.
What happened to me? Where did the Dog Lady go? When did I become so cold hearted and non-animal friendly? I hate it! Sometimes I try to pretend that I still do love dogs (and sometimes I almost believe it myself) and then I see that a friend's dog vomited on their floor, or chewed up their shoes, or peed on their rug, or scratched up all their doors and tore up the couch, or that they have worms in their poop! And then I just can't think anything else but... "Why?!??". Sadly, my kids will probably never know the love of a dog.
Seriously though, what happened to that Dog Lady???
9 comments:
Hey Tiff, maybe you could start with a fish for the boys. Work your way up and see how you do. Your children and all of your stories are delightful.
Did I miss something? Why are you on serious pain meds? I can relate to the dog thing. I was not as serious of a dog lover as it sounds like you were. But still, we had two different dogs when I was growing up and I loved them. But now, as a mom, I'm trying to figure out how to get rid of the beta fish that we've had for almost a year. I don't think a dog will ever be a reality for my kids.
I love dogs. I don't own one, but I will someday. Why do people name their dogs 'Shasta'. It drives me nuts. Even Doug had a dog named 'Shasta'. Its just not fair.
Was it at this time that you had your famed poodle haircut. It would be fitting. :) Yeah I am right there with you. Loved them as a kid and want my kids to have that experience too, but I think I am too much of a germ freak.
Our family dog bit me when I was in junior high, and I haven't wanted anything to do with a dog since. I like cats, but Isaac is allergic, so our kids will be lucky if they get a fish.
Tiff, I love this story!! Hope you are feeling better each day and have a beautiful recovery for your knees. Love, Susi
I suppose we all have our stages. It takes a lot to love a dog. I hated them when I was younger, but now I love my dog...most of the time.
She hung out with an anti-dog lady named Chiara way too much. The end!
Ah yes... this is what I call "the change". I definitely used to be cooler, hipper and much more laid back before I had a family to take care of. Grew up with dogs and loved having them in my bed... now... not so much. Used to love eating pizza in bed and now the crumbs seem to be like huge boulders when I am trying to sleep. Walking around barefoot on the hardwood floor was refreshing and comfy, now I see my not so clean feet afterwards and realize I am a lousy housekeeper.... and so much more. I guess in some ways growing up kind of sucks :/
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